Twenty-four was a year that bought opportunities to step out in bigger ways than I ever had before and to be brave in ways I never would have anticipated.
It was a year of coming eye-to-eye with fears that sought to paralyze, taking leaps, being uncomfortable, remaining rooted, and ultimately chartering new territory geographically, spiritually, and emotionally.
I rounded the corner to twenty-five over the weekend and for some reason, the anticipation of the turning of another year of life felt much bigger this time. Twenty-five felt like it held more substance than the previous years.
Little flecks of brown dotting the apples of my cheeks from long summer days in the sun have made their appearance this past year. I had become very aware and self-conscious of these sunspots, to the point that I began covering them with foundation, tinted moisturizer, creams and such, for the last several months.
Since the beginning of summer in China, starting in mid April when temperatures began climbing into the nineties, I quit using all these products to cover these spots. It was becoming highly unpractical to wear much more than eye make up because, although we live and work in a building with air conditioning, the Chinese find air conditioning to be a massive energy drain and think it is best to conserve energy by turning the air conditioning off. I have since become accustomed to sweat droplets forming on my forehead by eight-thirty in the morning; any attempt at facial presentation for the day is all lost.
In the morning when I would look in the mirror and see these spots I would get so worked up over the matter; I despised them, and wished they would go away. But these sunspots that have become visible this past year are a part of me now. I have stopped looking with distain upon these tiny brown specks but instead see them as the culmination of the rich summers spent on the beaches of the Outer Banks, honeymooning in Bora Bora with my darling husband, and our adventures through some of the most beautiful places in south east Asia.
Twenty-five feels like a culmination of the years before in a significant way. My faith didn’t become what it has this year since just last week. It has been taking root in the assurance of Jesus Christ since I was a little girl, and this year, more deeply than ever, I have come to trust. I've come to fear less and follow him more wholly.
This blog launch is a significant step personally. I’ve always wanted to be a writer just like I always wanted to be a nurse.
Writing isn’t something the really makes sense to do. That’s what I observed from my dad’s journey to Nashville with hopes and dreams of becoming a songwriter. He never quit though, and even though it wouldn’t pay the bills initially. He kept writing because he loved writing. Isn’t that reason alone enough to write?
In a similar way that summers in the sun culminated in my sunspots and years of faith deeply rooted me, I am beginning now to put down roots, out of my love and passion for writing, in hope of what it may culminate in someday.