Why We Have To Stop Criticizing The Church

Our relationship got a little rocky a few years back. So much so that we took a break for a little bit.

We didn’t mean to take that much time apart. But few weeks turned into a few months. The months began to string together and before we knew it, we realized it had been a few years. 

We allowed ourselves to take some time, we knew we weren’t the only ones who were struggling and wresting with our deeply complicated relationship. 

The Church

It’s easier to sit on the side lines and throw shade. 

When you’re grown up in it, gotten out into the world, seen a few things, lived through some pretty wild experiences, gone to therapy, dug into to doing some deep personal work, there are parts of the church that make your BS detector start blaring. 

It happened for us, like many others, in our mid twenties. 

There were some unsettling things we heard.

Some parts we couldn’t unsee. 

So we stepped back and took a break.

It felt good to sleep in on Sundays. It felt refreshing to step back from something that had grown stagnant. 

But over time we found ourselves being those people, the one’s we swore we’d never be, complaining about something we were’t actively trying to change.

We were the critics instead of the change agents. 

We were challenging what was being done instead of being the doers. 

We were spectators instead of supporters.

This or That

We wanted to come back, we really did. But we’d also grown accustomed to sleeping in.

We took a step back and started slipping into the back row of different churches on Sunday mornings. 

Sitting at the back, still spectating, church became a commodity to be consumed. 

• The worship was too much showy and like a rock concert.

• The pastors was long winded and wandered off topic.

• We liked this but we didn’t like that. 

• If it wasn’t this then it was that. 

So we church shopped and hopped, showed up but never belonged. All along still criticizing the institution where we wanted to see change but all the while we were unwilling to settled in and start the work of change.

We finally had a come to Jesus moment, with ourselves and together. 

We can’t complain about the church unless we are an active member in a congregation participating in the change.

Coming Home

From that moment on, we held ourselves and each other accountable to not criticizing the church unless we were willing to be change agents within it.

Does the church get it wrong a lot? Oh yeah

Could the church as a whole be doing better? You bet

But transformation, in yourself and others, doesn’t happen when you sit on the side lines. 

When we quit critiquing and criticizing, we pretty quickly found a church that we got connected to. Isn’t that something?

Finding our way back wasn’t about landing back in the pews.

It wasn’t just about being in a sanctuary with stained glass windows on a Sunday.

But we said we believed that people matter, that connection and belonging are vital to our existence. And the transformation that was happening in us was not only possible, but probable for the church if we were only willing to engage. 

If you grew up in it and needed to take some time away, that’s ok. Go for it. 

If you were hurt by people within it and need to heal, find a good counselor and do the work so you can be whole.  Also, I’m really sorry.

If you just aren’t sure anymore, there’s space for wandering and questioning. 

But we have to stop complaining about the church unless we are willing to actively participate in the change.

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Have you felt distance growing between you and God and found yourself wondering, Why does God feel so far away? Why do I feel so disconnected from him? Maybe you have been aching inside, longing for deeper relationships with the people in your life and hoping to understand them better. Certified Enneagram teacher Meredith Boggs will be your guide as she gives you biblical wisdom and practical tips to strengthen your relationships with God, others, and yourself.

Maybe you've heard of the Enneagram but aren't sure what it's all about. Is it even okay for Christians to use it? Is it something that can be used for spiritual growth, not just personal growth? Perhaps you know your Enneagram type but have no idea how to apply what you've learned as a way to enhance your spiritual life. Or are you someone who has become disenchanted with your beliefs or lonely in your church community and are yearning for closer spiritual connections?

In The Journey Home Meredith Boggs provides a biblical road map to using the Enneagram, a well-known and prominent tool for self-growth, to revitalize your faith and guide you back home to God. Drawing on her years of experience as an Enneagram teacher, she weaves together personal stories, scripture, and practical application tips that show you how to

• Better understand the ways the Enneagram can be a useful tool as you grow in your faith

• Identify your Enneagram type's strengths and leverage them to kickstart and maintain your spiritual growth

• Recognize your type's specific sin tendencies so you can break free from them

• Cultivate closer relationships with others by understanding their spiritual challenges and strengths

• Practice spiritual disciplines unique to your type and integrate them into your life

If you feel lost or disconnected in your spiritual life or simply want to strengthen your relationship with God and others, this book will help you chart a course to a place of deeper connection and fulfillment.

An Invitation Into Transformation

One of the most surprising things about the writing and editing process for The Journey Home was the personal and spiritual transformation I was invited into with each different type I researched and wrote about. 

Naively, I thought I could draw from my Enneagram knowledge, interview different types, piece together ideas and stories of the transformation that person's particular Enneagram type experiences spiritually with their specific sin tendency and virtue.

And while that was certainly part of the process, with each chapter, I was given to opportunity to be 

stripped of my pride (type 2)

freed from my avarice (type 5)

honest about my deceit (type 3) 

And to expose envy in my heart (type 4) 

Simultaneously, I was beckoned towards the transformation that is found when you 

Live at peace (type 1) 

Step out in faith (type 6)

Seek wisdom (type 7)

Cover all in love (type 9)

As a type 8, I was surely refined in my own tendencies, but with all the other types, there was still tremendous application for me. 

That’s one of my hopes with this book, The Journey home. 

Whatever your specific type is, skip ahead in the book to that chapter. Read about your type—but then go back. The Enneagram is full of nuance and individuality with each type. Because it is so dynamic—from your wing to the types you gravitate toward in stress and security—there is much to be gleaned from other types besides your core type.  

There is so much transformation waiting for us amidst the other 8 types. 

The redemptive work of Jesus on the cross, the atoning sacrifice and his blood that was shed for the forgiveness of our sins so that we could be made new, is the underpinning of each of our stories and what binds the collective types together in beautiful harmony.

Rejection & Redirection

The dream of writing a book, like most other dreams, is  one that’s come with a lot of rejection and redirection.

From the outside it may look like I got lucky and won a contest. And maybe that’s part of it. But this was not my first merry go round. 

The book proposal for The Journey Home was my THIRD, not first or second, but third proposal. 

I wrote, crafted and pitched to agents and publishers. I received lots of rejection — mostly that my platform was too small but also that my idea had already been written about or was boring. 

But I also got some helpful feedback. 

Each time I went back to the drawing board, I felt hopeful, thinking maybe this will be the one. 

When I decided to join the Book Proposal Bootcamp in the fall of 2020, already pregnant at the time, I knew this was it. 

It was going to be my last shot, my last attempt.

Not forever, but for the time being.

If this proposal never materialized into a publishing contract, it was time to press pause on my book writing endeavors and shift into motherhood, trusting that when the time was right, I would also bring a book into the world, much like I was about to bring a baby into the world. 

But this was the idea that stuck.

This was the one they picked!

It was either going to be my third strike or the third time that was the charm

It was the latter and I’m so grateful!

If you’re holding onto a dream, nursing some wounds from rejection, I’m sorry. I see you, I’ve been there (and still am in some areas now still).

I won’t offer you sweet nothings to medicate the pain.

But the truth of Ecclesiastes 3:11 reminded and sustained me during seasons of rejection and redirection.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

We can’t fathom what God is doing here in the middle of our broken dreams and disappointed hearts. But he is making everything beautiful in its time.

This is the book that might have never been. 

The Journey Home was a back pocket pitch. It was an idea of a  title and tagline, that was it. No words written or outlined, a loose idea at best. 

And He brought it to life in his time, making it into something beautiful. 

Even with rejection and redirection, where do you sense or see God working today in your life to make everything beautiful in its time?

If you want more of the BTS of the book, read more about it here.