But why can't I tell someone their Enneagram type? I know them really well. . .

Here’s the deal, we all do it. When you’ve learned your type and found how useful the Enneagram can be as a tool for personal, professional, relational and spiritual growth, it’s natural to want to type others to understand them better.

But we shouldn’t and we need to stop.

But why shouldn’t we type other people with the Enneagram?

1. You’re might to be very wrong

No matter how well you now the person, you could very well be wrong. Yes, we see how people interact and behave but we can’t see their motivations which is what the Enneagram is based off of. We can’t see motivations, all we see are behaviors and it’s important to allow others to name for themselves their underlying motivations.

2. It takes the autonomy way from them

The Enneagram is for self-discovery and we rob people of part of that autonomy when we (even well-meaningly) declare “oh you’re totally a 7!” When tempted to want to tell someone what type you think they are, ask questions instead. Find out what motivates them, what they fear, what makes them feel alive and how they see the world.

3. You may unintentionally box them into a type 

If you tell someone what type you believe the are, sometimes it will arrest that journey of self discovery for them. They will learn about that particular type, act and operate from it and if it’s wrong, their growth and understanding of themselves is naturally going to be limited. With no ill intent, they may be boxed into a type that isn’t their true type based on what you’ve told them.

3 Things The Enneagram is Not

While commonly associated with other personality typing systems, the Enneagram actually is not one. The Enneagram stands in a category of its own as a self-knowledge and self-discovery tool. Not based on personality traits and behaviors, the Enneagram focus is on the motivations of individuals.

While it is not a personality typing system, here are 3 more things the Enneagram is not

1. Diagnostic

The Enneagram is not diagnostic, it’s not in the DSM, there is nothing ‘clinical’ about it. Tests can be inaccurate, people can easily mistype themselves and thats ok. If you mistype initially, you can always change. Don’t try to ‘diagnose’ yourself of others with the Enneagram.

2. A Box

The Enneagram is not a box to put yourself in or other people. We all hate being labeled and when you put someone in a box, it doesn’t give them a chance to grow and change and become someone new. Doing that to yourself or others limits your growth potential and the chance to experience true transformation.

3. An Excuse

The enneagram is not en excuse for bad behaviors. Knowing your type doesn’t excuse you from acting out in unhealthy ways just because it's 'how you are’ according to your type. Using your Enneagram type as a crutch to avoid working through unhealthy mindsets and patterns of living is damaging to your mind and soul. Excusing other peoples behavior because of their Enneagram type lets you off the hook from setting appropriate boundaries.

3 Ways the Enneagram Is Different From other Personality Typing Systems (MBTI, DISC, StrengthsFinder)

3 Ways the Enneagram Is Different From other Personality Typing Systems (MBTI, DISC, StrengthsFinder)

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When you first learn about the Enneagram, it’s common to wonder what the big deal is and what makes it all that different from other personality typing systems.

As its core, the Enneagram actually isn’t a personality typing system.

It’s commonly grouped with with all the others because as humans, we systematize and organize things as like kinds and that is what the Enneagram is most similar to.

But it’s actually in a category of its own. The Enneagram is a self-knowledge and self-discovery tool.

However, to make things simple, we’ll keep it paired with the others and go over the essential ways it’s different and what sets it apart.

1. The Enneagram focuses on motivation NOT behaviors

What motivates our behaviors, they way we respond and react is far more important and what we actually do. Getting to the motivational level is where we can untangle limiting beliefs, beginning to exchange lies for truth & set ourselves on a path of transformation

2. The Enneagram is Dynamic 

The Enneagram is dynamic meaning that we have a core type but we move between the different types in stress or security and even out wing type influences how we show up. Just as we are not stagnant as human beings, the Enneagram allows a fluidity that other personality typing systems don't tap into.

3. The Enneagram is wholistic is nature factoring in experiences, emotions & core beliefs 

The Enneagram is more broadly focused than simply who you are and how you're showing up today. It factors in childhood wounds, core beliefs, situations that cause stress or bring security. This holistic approach is helpful from a personal, relational, and spiritual growth standpoint.